Unless you’ve been blissfully snuggled under a rock for the last week or so (ya lucky bastard), you’ve likely heard about a festering turd called, “The American Health Care Act.” If you’re a masochist, as I apparently am, you may have even attempted to read the damn thing, but only made it 80 pages before your eyes began to bleed. “It’s too many damn pages for any man to understand,” you feel me? Hamilton? Anybody?
Moving on …
The bill, introduced by Speaker of the Swamp, Paul Ryan (everyone’s favorite invertebrate), would leave 24 million uninsured, and provide much-needed tax breaks to those struggling millionaires while leaving their “real American” base with little more than extra pocket change. Spelled the fuck out, that’s a yearly saving of $207,390 for the top .1% of earners and about $300 for the middle 20%. We shouldn’t be surprised. Selling out the middle class to help rich “job creators” may as well be the GOP platform. And the poor? Rathole Ryan and co. aren’t even pretending to give a shit anymore (looking at you, Jason Chaffetz, I really hope that iPhone, bought on your donors’ dime, falls in a public toilet).
Photo by Tobyotter 
“My single-payer, government sponsored insurance covers colonics? I deserve this.”
One way the Grand Ol’ Plonkers are railing the poor and elderly up the ass is by reconfiguring the insurance subsidies. Say what? Yeah, I didn’t know what the fuck that meant either. Basically, if you make less than 48k per year, when you sign up for ObamaCare a subsidy (guv’ment money paid directly to the insurance company) is immediately calculated and deducted from your monthly premium and copays. The amount of the subsidy is based on how much money you make, and the cost of healthcare where you live. Nice, right?
Rathole doesn’t think so. Technically subsidies still exist under RyanCare (AKA: the worst of all worlds), but they’re based on age, not income and are a flat rate regardless of how expensive medical services are in your area. In another twist, you’ll have to cough up the cash first. That’s right, you just cover it for now and, uh, Uncle Sam will pay you back. What’s that mean? Think of Grandpa. At 75, Grandpa qualifies for the fattest subsidy ( a whopping $4,000 per year), but he’s on a fixed income and relies on Social Security and his meager retirement to pay bills. Not only must Grandpa pay the difference up front, but he lives in Bumblefuck, USA so his healthcare costs are triple that of someone living in a more urban area. I hope Grandpa doesn’t eat much…
Photo by Denis Dervisevic
“Top ramen is good enough for me.” -Grandpa
You’re saying, “So what? Grandpa’s old and he should pay more. What about me?” Well, first, you’re an asshole. Second, I’ll assume by the amount of salt you’re throwing that you’re also young. Let’s say twenty-something. Under SwampCare, you’ll qualify for an annual subsidy of $2000. Broken down, that’s an extra $166 per month you’ll pay for insurance before the government hits you back. Assuming you’re like millions of other young Americans, you’re probably not making a whole lot, so that extra money every month could mean you forgo insurance altogether. Hey, you’re healthy, right? No biggy, unless you need insurance later … ‘cause when you’ve been without coverage the AHCA allows insurance companies to jack your premium by 30%. Boom, that’s an extra hundo every month (the average individual plan currently costs $321/month) and don’t forget you have to front that subsidy money. It’s cool, though, $266 a month should be easy for you. Oh? No?
Eh, who cares? You’ll take what you get and you’ll like it! What, do you think healthcare is a right or something? Fucking moochers.
Here’s What You Ca Do
The American Healthcare Act is hugely unpopular, even among other Republicans (doing the right thing for the wrong reasons is still doing the right thing). Even POTUS Wrecks doesn’t want his name anywhere near it. Eeeeverybody hates it. Let your representative know you do, too. Not sure who to call? Look up your Senator here.
Photo by WisPolitics.com